Und der nächste Gastfamilienbrief

Hey Leute,
ja ich weiß es gibt ihr wirklich viele Gastfamilienbriefe, aber ich finde mein Brief hört sich etwas eingedeutscht an und ich weiß nicht was ich ändern könnt -
Ich würde mich echt freuen, wenn ihr mal drüber gucken könntet und mir sagen, was ich falsch gemacht habe ^^

Dear host family,
First I would thank you, that you read my letter.
It’s a little bit tricky to describe yourself, so I don’t know really what I can write.
Anyway, here are some things about your (hopefully) future host daughter.

My name is Julia XXX and I´m from Germany. I was born in February 2001 (especially at the 7 February ) . I live with my parents and my cat - in XXX, a town in west Germany. It has approximately 575.000 inhabitants. We have a “beach” at the river Ruhr, we called it “Baldeney see”. With a train you drive one hour to Cologne. If you interested in reading information’s about Essen you can read something about it at “Wikipedia”. I also have two half-sisters- one lives in XXXX ( might you know the soccer club SC Schalke 04 which comes from XXX, the town is located near to Essen ) and my other sister lives with her man and her two children’s :heart: in north XXXX.
My mom had been a Chemical Engineer before I was born. She comes from Belarus, so I also can speak Russian.
My father is a Physics Engineer. He has a company which makes schematics and builds plants for other big companys e.g. simens etc.
We live in a house with a garden where I often play badminton. With my cat I often play catch ( sorry, I don’t know the English word for the game ). Her name is XXX and she is a Siam cat. I really like cats at all and dogs, too . But I’m a little bit afraid of having dogs like bulldogs or Rottweilers or other dogs , because two years ago ones had bitten me. I think if you have a friendly and nice dog I will understand me will with him.

I go to the 9 class in the XXX in XXXX. I like my school and my class so much. There I can meet my friends every day. My favorite subjects are physical education, music and German. But English is also a very great subject and sometimes math’s, too :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: . In the school we have an orchestra and a choir. I play oboe in the orchestra ones a week. My friends play there, too.
After school I often meet my friends. We walk in a small forest near to our house, go shopping (even I don’t like it so much - ) etc. I also read a lot, my favorite books are warrior cats and Harry Potter.

In the remaining time I have swim training twice a week. I like swimming and water really much. I swum (?) since I was three or four years old. Sometimes we have competitions at the weekends, but I don’t like competitions so much. Swimming for fun is better XD When I have more time I want to help to train some smaller children in my swimming club.
I also have played tennis for 6 years but then I didn’t have enough time to do it and my club wasn’t so nice and it didn’t make fun at the end, too.
And I also play piano. I love it :heart: If you want I can show you something. Do you know some traditional Australian songs?
In Australia I also want to try some new hobbies. Maybe volleyball or something else ….

Now I want to tell you something about my character. Then you know as I am if I can live with you. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:
I think it’s very tricky to describe yourself so I ask my friends and my family.
They say that I’m tidy and resolved and scrupulously and concentrated. I’m a rally happy child and I often smile. They also say that I’m helpful and they can always speak with me when there are sad.
But I also like it to be for my one a little time, to calm down, relax and then I can start with old power again.
In one thing also everybody agree. I am funny and humorous. I like it to laugh and I like it more, when everybody laughs with me. That’s a great feeling.
I try to make the best of my life and I also want to make the best of my half a year in Australia. I think it won’t be easy but it will help me a lot. ( More I say later in this letter. )

At last I want to tell you, why I want to spend a half a year in Australia. It’s o a big chance to learn something about the people, the school at the other site of the world and the country. Australia looks so different to Germany. In Queensland you have the ocean and it’s warm, even in the winter. We in Germany have often rain or it’s cloudy. In the summer and in the winter.
We have learned a little bit about Australia in the school but I want to see all with my own eyes. Because: When I can experience all this again?
Many people in Germany think that all Australians like surfing and make a lot barbecues. :wink:

That’s all interesting about me and I hope you like it.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Thanks for reading my letter and
greetings from Germany^^

Yours Julia -

PS: I know that I don’t make any claims (?) but I´m used to having no siblings at home and I will be really happy if you have children’s and I could come to you

Hi,
Ich habe deinen Brief mal durchgelesen und etwas verbessert. Ich bin mitten in meinem ATJ und mein Englisch ist nicht perfekt aber ich versuchte mein Bestes :wink:
Allgemein ist der Brief gut, allerdings würde ich die Smileys weglassen. Es ist ein Brief und die Smileys gehören für mich eher zu SMS und WhatsApp-Nachrichten…
Und übrigens ist „children“ schon plural und „child“ ist Singular. Und „favorite“ schreibt man so: „favourite“.
Abgesehen von diesen Kleinigkeiten ist es sehr gut und ich wünsche dir nur das Beste für dein Auslandshalbjahr! :grinning:

Dear host family,
First off all I want to thank you for reading my letter.
It’s a little bit tricky to describe myself and I don’t really know what I could write.
Anyway, here are some things about your (hopefully) future host daughter.

My name is Julia XXX and I´m from Germany. I was born on February the 7th, 2001. I live with my parents and my cat in XXX, a town in the west of Germany. It has approximately 575.000 inhabitants. We have a “beach” at the river Ruhr which we call it “Baldeney see”. By train you drive one hour to Cologne. If you interested in reading information about Essen you can read something about it on “Wikipedia”. I also have two half-sisters - one lives in XXXX (you might know the soccer club SC Schalke 04 which comes from XXX, the town is located near to Essen) and my other sister lives with her man and her two children in north XXXX. Because I only have half-sisters I’m used to live without siblings. But I like kids and I would love it if you have children.
My mom was a Chemical Engineer before I was born. She comes from Belarus, so I also can speak Russian.
My father is a Physics Engineer. He has a company which makes schematics and builds plants for other big companys e.g. SIEMENS etc.
We live in a house with a garden where I often play badminton. With my cat I often play games. Her name is XXX and she is a Siam cat. I really like cats and dogs as well. But I’m a little bit afraid of having dogs like bulldogs or Rottweilers, because two years ago one has bitten me. I think if you have a friendly and nice dog I will like him.

I’m in Year 9 in the XXX in XXXX. I like my school and my class so much. That’s the place where I can meet my friends every day. My favourite subjects are physical education, music and German. But English is also a very great subject and sometimes Mathematics too. In school we have an orchestra and a choir. I play oboe in the orchestra once a week. My friends play there too.
After school I often meet my friends. We walk in a small forest near to our house, go shopping or do other things. I also read a lot, my favourite books are warrior cats and Harry Potter.

In the remaining time I have swim training twice a week. I really like swimming and water in general. I swim since I was three or four years old. Sometimes we have competitions at the weekends, but I don’t like competitions so much. Swimming for fun is better. When I have more time I like to help to train some smaller children in my swimming club.
I also have played tennis for 6 years but then I didn’t have enough time to do it anymore. Also my club wasn’t so nice and I didn’t enjoyed it anymore.
I also play piano. I love it and if you want, I can show you something. Do you know some traditional Australian songs?
In Australia I also want to try some new hobbies. Maybe volleyball or something else…

Now I want to tell you something about my character, so that you know if I would fit into your family.
I think it’s very tricky to describe myself, so I just asked my friends and family.
They say that I’m tidy, resolved, scrupulously and concentrated. I’m a really happy child and I often smile. They also say that I’m helpful and they can always speak with me when they are sad.
But I also like to be on my own from time to time, to calm down, relax and then I can start with old power again.
In one thing also everybody agrees. I am really funny and humorous. I like it to laugh and I like it even more when everybody laughs with me. That’s a great feeling.
I try to make the best of my life and I also want to make the best of my half a year in Australia. I think it won’t be easy but it will help me a lot.

At last I want to tell you, why I want to spend a half a year in Australia. It’s a big chance to learn something about the people, the school on the other site of the world and the country. Australia looks so different to Germany. In Queensland you have the ocean and it’s warm, even in winter. In Germany we often have rain or it’s cloudy. In summer and winter.
We have learned a little bit about Australia in the school but I want to see it all with my own eyes. Because: When I can experience all this again?
Many people in Germany think that all Australians like surfing and make a lot of barbecues. :wink:

That’s everything about me and I hope you like it.
I am looking forward to hear from you.
Thank you for reading my letter and
greetings from Germany

Yours, Julia

Oh vielen dank, ich wusste schon nicht, wie ich den sonst vor den Ferien den brief fertigkriegen sollte.

Oh vielen dank, ich wusste schon nicht, wie ich den sonst vor den Ferien den brief fertigkriegen sollte.

Hallo!

Ich habe nochmal über den korrigierten Brief drübergeschaut und einiges korrigiert. Sicher sind immer noch Fehler darin, aber man muss ja keinen grammatikalisch perfekten Brief abschicken.

Die Berufsbezeichnungen und -beschreibungen deiner Eltern habe ich nicht ganz verstanden, darum habe ich (?) dazu geschrieben.

Inhaltliche Tipps:

  1. Ich würde lieber die Namen deiner Schwestern dazuschreiben, anstatt „one sister“ und „the other sister“, das klingt etwas seltsam.

  2. Ich glaube kaum, dass deine Gastfamilie in Australien den deutschen Fußballverein Schalke 04 und den Ort, aus dem der Verein stammt, kennt, darum würde ich das eher weglassen.

  3. Deine Gastfamilie kennt Wikipedia sicher selbst, darum würde ich den Satz eigentlich auch weglassen.

  4. Ich würde den Satz „(…) will help me a lot“ eher weglassen, ich finde, es klang etwas seltsam, dass du erwartest, dass dir dein Austauschjahr „helfen“ soll. Wenn, dann solltest du auch noch dazuschreiben, wobei du dir Hilfe durch das Austauschjahr erwartest.

  5. Deine Motivation, nach Queensland zu gehen, wirkt so, als würdest du glauben, dass in Queensland das ganze Jahr über immer nur die Sonne scheint und es nur in Deutschland oft bewölkt und regnerisch ist. Natürlich ist es in Queensland ebenso bewölkt wie in Deutschland und überall sonst auf der Welt, im Sommer wie im Winter. Und regnen tut es natürlich auch. Als ich letztes Mal (im Sommer) dort war, gab es dort über eine Woche lang sintflutartige Regenfälle. Sicher ist das nicht der Normalfall, aber es kommt natürlich vor.

  6. Ich würde mich auch nicht auf etwas so Banales wie das Wetter beziehen, wenn ich im Gastfamilienbrief über Unterschiede zwischen Australien und meinem eigenen Land sprechen würde. Eher auf Landschaften, Kultur, Schule, Geschichte …

Viele Grüße und schon mal viel Spaß im wunderschönen Australien,

Marie-Claire

Dear host family,

first of all, I would like to thank you for reading my letter.

My name is Julia XXX and I´m from Germany. I was born on the 7th of February, 2001. I live with my parents and my cat in XXX, a town in western Germany, close to Cologne and river Baldeney,
with about 575.000 inhabitants.

I also have two half-sisters. XXX (Name) lives in XXXX, XXX (Name) lives in northen XXXX, together with her husband and their three children. As I only have half-sisters, I’m used to live without siblings but I like kids and would love to have host siblings.

My mother worked as a chemistry engineer (?) before I was born. She comes from Belarus, so I also can speak Russian.
My father works as a physics engineer (?). He owns a company which makes schematics and builds plants for other big companys e.g. SIEMENS etc. (???)

We live in a house with a garden where I often play badminton. With my cat I often play games. Her name is XXX and she is a Siamese cat. I really like cats and dogs as well but I’m a little bit afraid of dogs like bulldogs or rottweilers because two years ago I was bitten by a dog. I think if you have a friendly and nice dog I will get along with him well.

Currently I attend grad 9 at high school. I like my school and my class so much. That’s the place where I can meet with friends every day. My favourite subjects are physical education, music and German. But English is also a very great subject and sometimes maths, too. At school we have an orchestra and a choir. I play oboe in the orchestra once a week. My friends attend the orchestra, too.
After school I often meet with friends. We go for a walk in a small forest near to our house, go shopping or do other things. I also read a lot, my favourite books are „Warrior Cats“ and „Harry Potter“.

I also go to swim training twice a week. I really like swimming and water in general. I can swim since I was three or four years old. Sometimes we take part in competitions during the weekends but I don’t like competitions that much. Swimming for fun is better. In my spare time I like to help with coaching some little children in my swimming club.
I have also played tennis for six years but now I haven`t go enough spare time anymore and I also do not feel so comfortable in the club anymore.
I also play the piano. I love it and if you want, I can teach you. Do you know some traditional Australian songs?
In Australia I also want to try some new hobbies. Maybe volleyball or something else…

Now I would like to tell you something about my character, so that you can assess if I would fit into your family.
I think it’s very tricky to describe myself, so I just asked my friends and family.
They said that I’m tidy, resolved and concentrated. I’m a really happy person and I often smile. They also say that I’m helpful and they can always talkt to me when they are sad.
But I also like to be on my own from time to time, to calm down, relax and then I can start again with new power.
In one thing also everybody agrees. I am really funny and humorous. I like to laugh and I love making the people around me laugh. That’s a great feeling.
I try to make the best of my life and I also want to make the best of my six months in Australia.

Finally I would like to tell you why I want to spend half a year in Australia. It’s a big chance to learn something about the people, the school on the other side of the world and the country. Australia seems to be so different from Germany.
We learned a little bit about Australia at school but I want to experience the country myself.

That’s everything about me and I hope you like it.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Thank you for reading my letter and
greetings from Germany

Danke, aber ich glaube ich finde den ersten Brief besser. Klar sind dort viele fehler drin, aber der von dir korrigierte ´hat von meiner Sicht aus nicht viel mit dem ursprünglichen brief zu tun. Ein paar wenige Sachen sind gut, aber den rest lasse ich so wie er war. Denn sie wissen bestimmt, dass ich nicht perfekt englisch kann. Bei vielen Sachen, die du geschrieben hast, wusste ich nicht mal, dass es die Wörter gibt^^

Es war echt lieb und nett gemeint, aber von mir aus, kann ich es nicht wirklich gebrauchen.

Klar, mach es so, wie es dir am besten gefällt.