Students Letter - Verbesserungs-/Ergänzungsvorschläge ?

Hallo,

ich muss für meine Bewerbung einen Students Letter schreiben.Ich hab hier schon mal einen Entwurf gemacht. Wenn ich noch Verbesserungsvorschläge oder Sachen die noch dazu müssen sagt mir das doch bitte :slight_smile:

Hello,

my name is Lisa and I’m 15 years old. I was born on October 9th in Munich. It’s a big city in south-western Germany. You may know it for the “Oktoberfest”. I live alone with my mum since my parents got divorced. We have a lot of contact with my dad. My dad is a janitor and my mum is an accountant. She has to work a lot, so she isn’t home often. I love cooking, that’s an advantage if you have to cook your meals yourself everyday. My favourite chef is Jamie Oliver. I almost got every cookbook he ever wrote. I also love baking, especially Cupcakes.
I have two budgies, named Rocky and Paul. I got them when I first entered school.
I visit 9th grade of a secondary school. I really love my school. It is very fun to hang out with my friends the whole day. Our teachers are very friendly. Our class is a bit strange, but you get used to it. I love art, sports and English. I hate French and I’m not really good at it. I am in a school club which is called SMV. It stands for “Students with responsibility”. We represent the whole school at the teachers council. We also organise school parties, Christmas Bazaars and events for our graduates.
With my friends, I love watch films, do gymnastics, dance, just be weird, go shopping or just talk about everything. Fortunately, I know a lot of people from my school through the SMV. Every time someone wants to know something about somebody they ask me.
I LOVE books. I have a lot of them in my room and when I have money, I always have to bug books. I also go to the library frequently, because I don’t have enough money to buy every book I want to read. A lot of my friends also love reading. We often talk about books a whole afternoon. One of my other addictions are comic films. I am proud to say I have seen every single Marvel film at least twice. I am addicted to travelling. Since my mum is from Berlin, we often go there for a weekend to visit our family. We are in Sweden a lot, too. It is very beautiful up there. In February I was in France with my class and it was absolutely beautiful .
I have to help in the household, too. I have to take care for the dishwasher and I have to tidy up my room. I am kind of messy but I have it under control. I spend a lot of time with my family. We always eat together on weekends and we visit a lot of things.
I have never been to England, but I am sure it is beautiful. I am absolutely addicted to everything English. I always speak English with 2 of my best friends. I think, there is nothing more beautiful than a British accent.

Finde, der klingt schon gut :grinning: Einen Satz habe ich auf die Schnelle entdeckt, der falsch sein müsste:
„With my friends, I love watch films, do gymnastics, dance, just be weird, go shopping or just talk about everything.“ müsste meines Wissens nach so lauten:
„With my friends, I love watching films, doing gymnastics, dancing, just being weird (weiß nicht, was du damit genau meinst), going shopping or just talking about everything.“
Hoffe, das stimmt jetzt so und ich konnte dir weiterhelfen :grinning:
LG

Fällt es mir auch auf :slight_smile: aber trotzdem danke :slight_smile: