Studentletter - Bitte um verbesserung!

Ich habe heute mal mein Studentletter geschrieben. Ich habe teilweise mir mein Studentletter aus andern zusammengesetzt, da es mit meinem Leben übereinstimmt (also jetzt nicht sauer sein wenn ich ein Satz von euch verwendet habe, nur ich bin leider ein bisschen einfallslos).

Nun den, ich hoffe um eine ehrliche Meinung und hoffe auf Verbesserungsvorschläge:

Dear host family,


I am very happy and grateful that you decided to receive me in your family! I’m looking forwards to meet you and see your home country.
With this letter, I’d like to introduce myself a bit, so that you can get a better picture of me.

My name is XXX and I am born on XXX. I live in a small town with around 77.000 inhabitants, in the middle of West- Germany. I am 1,65 meters tall; I have reddish brown hair and bluish green eyes.

First I’ll tell you something about my family, because they are really important to me. I live together with my mother Claudia K and my three cats. I don’t have a brother or a sister. My mother (55) works as a diploma engineer in a district government. To my mother I have an open, honest and friendly relationship. I can talk to my mother, if I have the desire and we can laugh together as well. I seek advice from my mother when I have a problem for example at school or with any friends or any other people.
I am a very independent person and I use to care for my affairs. My mother and me help each other, because my mum work a lot and therefore I help her in the household.
I wash the dishes, clean the ground, cook for myself and help with the purchase.

My friends describe me as a friendly, cooperative person with whom they can do many things they maybe wouldn’t do with other people. They can trust me and talk about any problems without feeling stupid. My friends play an important roll in my life because we have a lot of fun together and can exchange our opinions and experiences.

When I am at home, I like to listen music, draw pictures and read books.
Music is very important for my, because it makes me happy. I nearly love all kinds of music, but mainly music from Nelly Furtado and Alicia Keys.

Once a week I go fence and twice a week I play handball in a team. It’s strenuous, but it’s a lot of fun. Earlier I swam in my school team and won some prices, but I have to train too often. Sometimes it is difficult for me to manage all my different hobbies, interests and school work. I always have to concentrate on the things, being the most important for me, to afford everything, but sometimes it is too much. There are so many activities I would like to try, to example rowing, snowboarding, climbing and so on.

At school I am on good term with almost everyone and when we have a discussion for example about what we’ll do at a class trip I always try to produce my ideas and find the best solution. Besides I attend the choir in my old school for 2 years. I liked to sing, but in my new school isn’t a choir. Maybe I can start to sing in a choir in Canada again!

My motivation to apply for the “Eurovacances” - program was the desire to go abroad for one year. I like to experience something new, which I don’t know from my daily life and to meet a different culture. I think it is very interesting and exciting to see a diverse way of life and to be part of a foreign family.

My goals for the program are improve my English and getting a stronger awareness for other nations. I hope to find new friends and maybe a second home.

My plan for the future is first to pass my gradation successfully. After that I want to study, but I am not yet sure, what I want to learn exactly. I hope to find a diversified job, which is fun for me. Best I would like a work, which is concerned with Biology or something like that. My dream for the future is to see something from the world, to have a good job and to start a family.



In the end I want to tell you something about my personality. I’m cooperative, adaptive, ambitiously, friendly, honestly and tolerant. Sometimes I’m a bit shy, but that will stop when I get to know you or other persons better.

beitragabfolgen.gif Auf diesen Beitrag gibt es 4 direkte Antworten:

bitte

Bitte um antwort!....

Ich muss den schon nächste Woche zurückschicken.

sorry

nene keine Sorge.. ich habe den Brief komplett nochmal gelöscht und neu geschrieben. Meine neue fassung gefällt mir recht gut, das sagt auch meine Beraterin von EF.

Zu dem Zeitpunkt hatte ich echt null Plan wie ich das machen sollte Zwinker Sorry...

Mein neuer Brief gehts zwar nicht mehr so lang, aber ist ja auch nicht mehr so schlimm.

Also Sorry dass ich deinen Text als hilfe genommen habe. Aber letztendlich ist es eh nicht wirklich relevant ob der Biref gut ist oder nicht. Bin eh schon aufgenommen und Gastfamilien gibts in meinem Gebiet sehr viele sagt EV.

vom 4.12.2008 17:16
B. W.

...

A deiner Stelle würd ich nicht"so that you can get a better PICTURE of me" sondern impression schreiben, sonst könnten die noch denken, dass du denen dann ein besseres bild von dir schicken wirst oder so^^

verbesserung.

dse heißt.
I m looking forward to meeting you^^

Diskussionsübersicht
30.11.2008
Studentletter - Bitte um verbesserung!
4.12.2008
B. W.
5.12.2008
Kristine S. USA AFS-DE 2009/10
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