vom 2.10.2014 17:01
C. H.

Studentletter

Hey Leute ich muss einen student letter schreiben und wollte Fragen ob ihr noch ein Paar Tipps habt ?

Dear host family

I´m glad and very thankful that you are reading this letter. At first I want to tell a little bit about myself.I´m a 14 year old teenage girl. As you see on the photos I have middle long blond hair and green-blue eyes. I live with my parents XXX, he works as an IT administrator, XXX a nurse, my 17 years old sister XXXX, she visits the same school, and my french bulldog Paula in a little town in North Germany which is named XXX in the federal state Schleswig-Holstein. We all have a good relations. Although we sometimes quarrel we always hold together. My Grandmother, the mother of my Dad, also lives in Kiel. Me and my sister often go to her and spend time with her. My other Grandmother, the mother of mother, moved to XXX to the little island XXX last year. I flied to her in my summer holiday this year and live together with her and her husband in their cute little house for one month. There I also got to know my uncle and my little cousin. XXXX is a little island of the XXXXX and is on the Atlantic coast. I went often to the beach and I saw dolphins and turtles.
In my spare time I like to hang out with friends or family. The reason why I sadly have not so much spare time is the new school system. My family and me often spend our holidas together in Denmark in holiday houses in rural areas since my birth or do things on the weekend like movie nights or going to a restaurant.
Since 2008 I´m started to learn and love Irish dancing. At first I learn it in the primaryschool in second grade. In April 2009 I began at the Irish Harp School of Irish Step Dancing. In Dezember 2010 I changed to the Celtic Dance group where my class teacher of my primaryschool is also dancing. There I am still dancing today. March 2012 I began with judo. Unfortunately I had to stop doing it in September 2013. Today I have the yellow belt in judo. In summer holiday 2013 I passed my windsurf examination, so I am allowed to surf all over the world. Also swimming is a big interest of me. I often go to the natatorium in the near of me with a good friend.
I’m a student. I went till now 9 years to school. From 2006 to 2010 I visited the primary schooI in my district. Since 2010 I visit the XXX gymnasium XXX. Were I had 4 and a half years English. My mother language is German.
After finishing the school I would to study psychology, elementary teacher or what to make a apprenticeship as a police officer.
I’m looking forward to getting to know you.
Yours sincerely,
XXXXX XXXX

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Tipps :)

Hi :)

Allgemein find ich den host family letter gut, aber bei meiner Organisation wollten die noch etwas über meine Motivation ins Ausland zu gehen, was ich so davon erwarte und so weiter, das hast du, glaube ich nicht mit drin, oder? Vielleicht brauchst du das auch nicht, aber ich hab das jetzt schon in mehreren Beispielen gelesen, deswegen...

Außerdem bei:

"We all have a good relations" - entweder das "a" oder das "s" am Ende von relations weg.

"Although we sometimes squarrel (...)" - würde ich die Satzglied stellung ändern: "Although we squarrel sometimes (...)"
Gleiches gilt für:
"I went often to the beach (...)" - "I went to the beach often (...)"

"flied" - flew (falsche Vergangenheitsform ;))

"The reason why I sadly have not so much spare time (...) - würde ich "sadly" an den Satzanfang stellen: "Sadly, the reason why I (...)"

"My family and me often spend our holidas together" - "My family and I often spend our holidays together"

"At first I learn (...)" - learned

"After finishing (the) school I would to study (...)" - fehlt noch das "like" nach would, aber das hast du bestimmt im Originalbrief mit drin :)

Das waren ein paar Sachen, die mir aufgefallen sind, wobei ich das nur nach meinem persönlichen Empfinden korrigiert hab :D
Ich hoffe, ich konnte trotzdem weiterhelfen und wünsche dir viel Spaß mit deiner zukünftigen Gastfamilie!

Liebe Grüße,
H.

vom 3.10.2014 10:17
C. H.

Danke

Danke für deine Tipps. Einiges hatte ich schon verändert aber vieles noch nicht. vielen Dank :)

Diskussionsübersicht
2.10.2014
C. H.
Studentletter
3.10.2014
Hannah K. Kanada ec-se 2015/16
3.10.2014
C. H.
X Schließen
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