Mein host family brief - bitte Korrigieren !!

Austauschschüler Forum Vor dem Auslandsjahr
1

Hi leute !! Ich habe vor im märz 2008 ein Jahr Au pair zu machen und nun habe ich angefangen mein host family brief zu schreiben und nun bitte ich euch um eure hilfe, ich finde ihn schrecklich und er ist so kurz, doch ich weiß nicht was ich noch reinschreiben kann und soll bitte schaut ihn euch mal an und macht mir ein paar verbesserungsvorschläge ! Danke Jacky

Dear host family,

First of all, I would like thank you (oder I´m thanking you / I want to say thank you / I want to thank you) for welcoming me in your family and let me be a part of your live and your family. I´m thanking you for giv(e)[ing] me the chance to learn more about the American culture. I´m really grateful (too), that you [spending (oder take the ??) time for ] reading my letter [and spending time / take the time] to know me better.

[Now I want to introduce myself.]???
I´m Jacqueline Schade (oder besser nur Jacky ? oder . . . I´m Jacqueline Schade you can tell me Jacky?) and now I´m 19 years old and I will be 20 in march. I´m not very tall (5 feet, 2 inches) and I´ve brown hairs. (weiß nicht ob das so wichtig ist sie sehen mich ja eh auf nem bild)
I live in Mühlhausen, Thuringia in Germany, where I was born, too.
Mühlhausen is a little/small city in the middle of Germany. There we have a small house whith a little garden. Now anything about my family, my mum (oder lieber mother ?) Cornelia is an independently hairdresser and my dad (father) Uwe work as a cranedriver. My 3 years older brother Steve work as insurance agent and live with his girlfriend, Mandy in a flat near our house. My boyfriend Thomas live in a small village called Görmar closed on Mühlhausen. There is my second familiy, and there I´ve two pets, too. A rabbit called/named Wuschel and a guinea pig called/named Fuschel they are so sweet and lovely. I´ve build them a big stable of wood.

Now anything more about me and my interests and hobbys. I´m very funny, lovely and nice and really familiar, but I can be worse (was heißt zickig ?? oder soll ich das weglassen???), too. [Sometimes] I´m very sporty, I love badminton 3 years ago I was in a badmintonclub for 3 years and now I´m one and a half year in a health club. Other interests are sightseeing e.g. zoo, museums, theatre, new states and countries and so on. Most of all I like the zoo because there are so many animals, and I love animals. I like to do handicrafts at all and I love playing everything. And I´m very interested in the United States and their culture and all of them.

In July 2004 I had finished the school with the 10th grade, after them I had begun my education as car mechanic/garage mechanic. In January 2008 I(´m) conclude my education.

In the beginning I look more shy then I´m because everything is new for me, but I hope you can show me a lot of [new and] interesting things /that are new for me. I think I will get many new impressions and make new experiences. I hope that my stay will be an interesting experience for me and for you. I really thank you for reading this letter and hope you forgive me all the faults in my letter.
So I hope to hear from you and even more to be a part of your family for a year.
I think that we can learn many things from each other and maybe I will find a second home.

I’m looking forward to getting to know you.

Lots of greetings, / Yours sincerely, (MFG) / Best regrets (MFG) ???
Jacky / Jacqueline schade ??

2

Dear host family,

First of all, I would like thank you (oder I´m thanking you / I want to say thank you / I want to thank you) for welcoming me in your family and let me be a part of your live and your family. I´m thanking you for giving me the chance to learn more about the American culture. I´m really grateful , that you are taking the time to read my letter to get to know me better.

Now I want to introduce myself.
I´m Jacqueline Schade, but everybody calls me Jacky and now I´m 19 years old and I will be 20 in march. I´m not very tall (5 feet, 2 inches) and I´ve brown hair.

I live in Muehlhausen, Thuringia in Germany, where I was born, too.
Mühlhausen is a little/small city in the middle of Germany. There we have a small house with a little garden.
Now something about my family: my mum (oder lieber mother ?) Cornelia is an independently hairdresser and my dad (father) Uwe works as a cranedriver. My 3 year older brother Steve work as insurance agent and lives with his girlfriend, Mandy in a flat near our house. My boyfriend Thomas lives in a small village called Görmar closed on Mühlhausen. There is my second familiy (second family, why? normally your hostfamily is going to be your second family), and there I´ve two pets, too. A rabbit called Wuschel and a guinea pig called Fuschel. They are so sweet and lovely. I´ve build them a big stable of wood.

Now something more about me and my interests and hobbys. I´m very funny, lovely and nice and really familiar (woher sollen sie dich chon kennen?, meinst du vllt family orientated?), but I can be worse ( nobody’s perfect…cranky), too. [Sometimes] I´m very sporty, I play badminton. I was in a badmintonclub for 3 years and now I´m one and a half year in a health club (explaination). Other interests are sightseeing e.g. zoo, museums, theatre, new states and countries and so on. Most of all I like the zoo because there are so many animals, and I love animals. I like to do handcrafts at all and I love playing everything (board games??). And I´m very interested in the United States and their culture and all of them (???)

In July 2004 I had finished the school with the 10th grade, after them I had begun my education as car mechanic/garage mechanic. In January 2008 I will be done with my education.

In the beginning I look more shy then I´m, because everything is new for me, but I hope you can show me a lot of [new and] interesting things (because that what I’m interested in?)/that are new for me. I think I will get many new impressions and make new experiences. I hope that my stay will be an interesting experience for you as well. I really thank you for reading this letter and hope you forgive me all the mistakes in my letter.
So I hope to hear from you and even more to be a part of your family for a year.
I think that we can learn many things from each other (and maybe I will find a second home).

I’m looking forward to get to know you.

Lots of greetings, / Yours sincerely, (MFG) / Best regrets (MFG) ???
Jacky / Jacqueline schade ??

3

ich wuerd net wirklich was negatives schreiben, ich meine du stellst dich vor und willst denen ja nicht erzaehlen wie schlecht du bist… wie meine hostmum sagen wuerde: „no put down’s!“ ^^ ausserdem hast willste sie ja net vergraulen :+1:

4

das ganze bezieht sich auf zickig und so

5

Danke schön für die hilfe ich glaub da muss ich noch ganz schön dran feilen . . .

6

da hast du wohl recht ich glub ich lass das weg.

7

Das steht in meinen bewerbungsunterlagen
Doch ich weiß nicht so recht wie ich es umsetzen soll !

Personal letter
This is your chance to write about yourself, family, interests, friends and perhaps about the area where you live. Information that your other application materials may not show. Think about this letter as a “sales letter” which is going to make the host family want to call you and talk to you at once! Remember to write about why you would like to be an au pair and what it is that you love about children. It’s a good idea to include funny or amusing stories from your previous babysitting experiences. You do not have to use our paper provided - maybe just use it to practice so that you don’t make any mistakes. You can use your own stationary to make your letter more personal and creative (use stickers, pretty colours, draw pictures etc) but please write on light colored paper.
Please handwrite your letter - no typing!

Und wegen dem Now was kann ich dafür noch einsetzen ??

Danke schon mal im vorraus !