hostfamily letter - bitte verbessern

Dear hostfamily,

while I have orgnized my stay in England I have written many self description but I think this letter is the most important because with this letter it’s up to you to decide if you want to hast me in your family.
I try to make you this decision as easy as possible and I hope you’ ll get a good Insight into my life.
By the way: Thank you that you take the time to read my letter.

At first there is to say my name is Hannah Sophie K*******.
I’m 14 years old and I live in Bielefeld, a town with about 320,000 inhabitants
in Westphalia, which is in western Germany.
My family, consisting of my mother Annemarie and my father Michel,
and me live in an apartment but In the same house live also my grandmother,
my aunt and uncle and my cousin.
I attend the 9th grade of the local high school but after my stay in England I’m going to change school because I want to have music as an advanced course.

And that brings us to the topic: Music. Music is my life.
I play the piano, the viola, I have a music theory lessons every week
and you can find me more often singing than speaking.
Besides I later want to have a job which has something to do with music.

Certainly I also meet friends in my free time, go shopping or hang out in front of my laptop, like every teenager.
But I also wouls like to start something new in England for example I would like to dance or to go team sport.
Next to new hobbies I want to try I also want to experience another culture
and I hope I can see at least a part of England’s great scenery.

Now a few words about my charkter: I think it’s very hard to describe your own charakter because you see yourself never in the same way others see you.
Because of that I have asked my frieds to describe me.
The words they said were homorous, intelligent and creative
but furthermore they said the words unathletic and untidy.

I hope you get to know me a little and I’m very looking forward
to spend tree month in your country.

Kind regards!
Hannah Sophie K******

danke schon mal für eure hilfe!

Hallo Hannah,

ich habe mal versucht, Rechtschreib - und Grammatikfehler zu korrigieren und hab ein paar Sachen umgeschrieben. Vom Inhalt her würde ich noch etwas mehr über deinen Charakter schreiben und über deine Beweggründe, nach England zu gehen.

Dear host family,

first of all I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my letter.

My name is Hannah Sophie K*******, I am 14 years old and live in Bielefeld, a town with about 320,000 inhabitants in Western Germany.
My parents Annemarie and Michel and me live in an apartment, next to my grandparents, my uncle, my aunt and my cousin.
Currently I attend grade 9 at the local high school but after my time abroad I will change to a different school because I would love to have music as an advanced course.
Music is my passion - I enjoy singing a lot, play the piano as well as the violin and have a theory lesson once a week. After finishing school I would love to have a job which has something to do with music.
In my spare time I often meet with friends or go shopping.

Now a few words about my character: I had found it pretty hard to describe myself, so I decided to ask my friends to do so - and they described me as humorous, creative and a bit chaotic …

I decided to spend three months in England to experience a foreign culture and hopefully see as much as possible of the amazing scenery.
Well, I hope you got to know me a bit and I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon !

Kind regards,

Hannah Sophie

Vielleicht hilft es dir ein bisschen.

Viele Grüße und schon mal viel Spaß im wunderschönen England,

Matie-Claire