Host family letter..was kann ich besser machen?(:

Hey leute, also ich hab mich echt nicht leicht getan aber das ist das beste, was ich hinbekommen habe..ich würde mich riesig freun wenn ihr noch verbesserungsvorschläge etc machen würdet.
liebe liebe grüßee schon mal :*

Dear Host Family,

first I want to thank you for reading my letter and giving me the chance of introducing myself. I've never been to South Africa and I'm so thankful that you are willing to welcome me in your family for my exchange year.
My name is Allison but all my friends call me Alli. I'm a 15 old girl and will turn 16 on the 9th of may. I've been living in a small town in northern Germany with my family, since I was born. I would describe myself as open-minded, loyal, friendly, curious and concerned about others. I laugh a lot and most of the time I'm in a good mood. I don't play an instrument but I love listening to music. I really like Rihanna's new album and Bruno Mars,but of course there are lots of other great musicians I like to listen to, too.

My family includes four members: My mother Jennifer, my father Thomas, my little sister Tessa and me. They're very important to me because they always support me,help me if I have any worries and make me laugh. My German grandparents are also important to me and my sister and I visit them regular. My family and I like watching movies and going to the cinema or going shopping. Also my mother, my sister and I dance in the same dance school- Irish dance. It's nice if we have performances with our groups (my sister and I are in the group) and competitions in other cites are always a lot of fun, too.

I visit the 10th grade of the Käthe-Kollwitz-Gymnasium (we just call it KKG) and usually have school from 8 AM until 1 or 2 PM. My favorite subjects are Arts and languages because I think it's very interesting and I like creative working.

After school my mother, my sister and I eat lunch together and then I do my homework, learn for school or meet friends.
I have dancing twice a week which I really like. We always have a great time and it's a good chance to get school off of my mind. At Training I meet my friends and it is always great and we laugh a lot. In my free time I also like going to the cinema or cafés. In the summer, when it's warm enough I love going to the beach. It's not very nice in our small town but if you go with the right people, you can have a nice time everywhere- just talk, laugh and enjoy the sun, that's why my friends and I love the summer so much. We also like going to the park or the river which is nearby to picnic or take photos.
I love traveling and have already been to many countries like America, China, Spain, Egypt and France. To America I've been very often because that's where the rest of our family lives. My mother grew up there so we visit our grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. In China I was for a two week exchange and it was very interesting but also very different. They didn't think that family and friends were very important and they had school the whole day (from 7 AM to 9 or 10 PM). For me personally, friends and family are very important, because those are the people who always support you and help if you have problems.

After I have finished school I want to study media and journalism because I like writing and I think it's important, that everyone in the world has a chance to know, what's really going on. I want other people to realize that there are always new things happening in the world and not only in there own country.

I would be so happy if you would choose me as your exchange student. For a long time I wasn't sure about the year abroad and I didn't know where to go. But then I started to inform myself and South Africa seemed more than exciting- I could imagine living there for a year. So I asked other people if they had any experiences, I searched in the Internet for hours and found out so many great things. Friendly and open people, beautiful landscape and a relaxed and positif lifestyle, and so much more. I want to experience that all and am so thankful that you might give me the chance of living in your home for a year.

I hope this letter gave you an impression of me and my life and I hope I'll hear from you soon.

Best regards from Germany,

Yours, Alli

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Korrekturen

Hallo,

hab mal korrigiert was ich dachte, was falsch war, und ein paar Sachen umgeschrieben, vielleicht hilft es dir ein bisschen.

Dear Host Family,

first of all I want to thank you for reading my letter and giving me the chance to introduce myself to you. I've never been to South Africa and I'm so thankful that you are willing to welcome me in your family !
My name is Allison but all my friends call me Alli. I'm 15 years old and I live in a small town in northern Germany. I would describe myself as open-minded, loyal, friendly, curious and sympathetic and I laugh a lot. I don't play an instrument but I love listening to music. At the moment my favourites are Rihanna and Bruno Mars but of course there are lots of other great musicians I like, too.

I live with my parents Jennifer and Thomas and my little sister Tessa. They're very important to me because they always support me, help me with any problems and make me feel good. My grandparents are also pretty important to me and my sister and I visit them often.

We like watching movies together, going to the cinema or going shopping. Also my mother, my sister and me attend the same dance school and do Irish dance. We enjoy having performances with our group and competitions in other cites.
Currently I attend the 9th grade at a High School and usually stay there from 8am until 2pm. My favourite subjects are Arts and (Sprachen, die du lernst) because it's very interesting and I enjoy being creative.

After school my mother, my sister and I have lunch together and then I do my homework, learn for school or meet with my friends.
I have dancing twice a week and I really enjoy it. I always have a great time there and it's a good way to relax. In my spare time I also like going to the movies or to cafés. In summer I love going to the beach. There isn`t too much do to in our small town but my friends and me have a great time anyway –we just hang out, laugh and enjoy the sun and often take photos.
I love travelling and so far I`ve been to many countries, for example in the USA, China, Spain, Egypt and France. We often spend time in the USA because my mother grew up there, so we visit our relatives there. I`ve been to China for a two week exchange and it was very interesting.
Later on I want to study media and journalism because I like writing and I think it's important that everyone in the world gets to know what's really going on.

For a long time I was not sure about the year abroad and I didn't know where to go. But then I informed myself about several countries and South Africa seemed to be pretty exciting - I could imagine to live there for a year. So I asked other people if they had any experiences, I searched the Internet for hours and found out a lot about South Africa and finally decided to spend some time there.

I hope this letter could give you an impression of me and my life and I hope I`ll hear from you soon.

Best regards from Germany,

Yours, Alli


Viele Grüße,
Marie-Claire

Diskussionsübersicht
12.2.2011
Alli H. Südafrika 2011/12
Host family letter..was kann ich besser machen?(:
13.2.2011
Alli H. Südafrika 2011/12
13.2.2011
Suse S. Südafrika iE 2011/12
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Suse S. Südafrika iE 2011/12
13.2.2011
Alli H. Südafrika 2011/12
13.2.2011
Suse S. Südafrika iE 2011/12
13.2.2011
Alli H. Südafrika 2011/12
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