Host family letter..

Hallo an alle!
Ich hab grade meinen host family letter vollendet und würde ganz gerne wissen, was ihr davon haltet! Wenn ihr irgendwelche Verbesserungsvorschläge habt, schreibt bitte!! :grinning:
Vielen Dank schonmal!

Also hier ist der Brief…

Dear host family!

First of all, I want to say thank you, because you give me the chance to spend a year with you and therefore a year in the USA, what is one of my biggest dreams. Here in Germany, America is known as ‘The country of the boundless possibilities’. That makes me very curious, so I’m really looking forward to discover this country, the culture, the people and especially, the ‘American way of life’. I am even happier to have you as my family for this time and to discover all of those things together with you.
Now, I’d like to tell you about my daily life: My name is Hannah Sinder and I’m 15 years old, but during my year abroad, I will be 16. As you can see in some of my pictures, I have long brown hair, blue/green eyes and I’m about 173 cm (68 inch) tall. I live with my family in ******, which is a small and very nice town in the Ruhr-area (near Cologne). My mum ****, my dad ***** and my older brother ***** (17) are very important for me, because they always support me, if I need help or have any worries. Of course, we argue sometimes, but all in all, we have a really good relationship. My grandparents are very important for me, too, so I often visit them. There are also a cat called Lilli and two rabbits called Hoppel and Bapsi, who belong to my family. I really love them and so it would definitely not be a problem if you had pets.
My biggest hobby is horse riding. I share a horse with my best friend, so I spend much time with my horse and some other friends, who also ride, at the riding stable. Even if I love horse riding, I don’t think that I want to do it regularly during my year abroad, because I’d better like to try typical American sports. I also have quite a lot of friends in my class, with whom I undertake things in my free time. Among other things, we like to watch movies or cook together, drive to a bigger city for shopping and go swimming in the summer. If I have time for myself, I read books, paint or listen to some music. I’m also interested in photography and environmental protection. My family and I are members of an environmental organization called ‚Bund für Umwelt- und Naturschutz Deutschland (BUND)‘, where we campaign ourselves for the environment.
I’m a student in great 10 and I visit the Theodor-Heuss-Gymnasium in Waltrop. My favourite subjects are English, History and Arts. I’ve been learning English for more than five years, now. I can speak it nearly fluently and I have nearly no problems to understand it, but sometimes, I do some grammar mistakes. My second foreign language is French and I’ve been learning it for more than three years. After my high school year in the USA, I will go on visiting school and do my graduation. I am planning to go to University afterwards, but I don’t know what to study, yet.
All in all, I think, I’m a happy, open-minded and responsible person. I mostly have high spirits and like to laugh with my friends. Even if I am a little bit more quite and do normally not like to take centre stage, I can represent my opinion very well and be quick at repartee. I always try to have a harmonious surrounding and therefore, to settle disputes quickly, what I’m mostly able to manage. Then I just feel better!
It is important to me that you know that I don’t want to be handled like a guest when I live with you for a year, but like a real family member after we got to know each other better. I will do my best to make this year nice for all of us and I hope that it will be a great experience for everyone.

I am really looking forward to getting to know you!
Best greetings from Germany,
Hannah Sinder

Hi Hannah!

Ersteinmal danke, dass du meinen Brief durchgelesen hast. Bin froh, dass er dir gefällt, ich war mir nicht so sicher…^^

Nun zu deinem Brief:
Ich finde es gut, dass du in deinem Brief so offen bist und dich sher natürlich und nicht aufgesetzt gibst. Mir sind nur ein paar Sachen eingefallen, die du vielleicht noch berichtigen solltest:
My mum ****, my dad ***** and my older brother ***** (17) are very important for me because they always support me if I need help or have any worries. Of course we argue sometimes, but all in all we have a really good relationship. (Ich habe hier einige Kommata weggelassen, im Englishen gebraucht man sie seltener.)

Even though I love horse riding (Statt ‚if‘ though’, stilistisch besser)

Dein Satz:
I also have quite a lot of friends in my class, with whom I undertake things in my free time. Among other things, we like to watch movies
Mein Vorschlag:
I also have quite a lot friends in my class with whom I do many things in my free time, as like watching movies… (Klingt ein bisschen besser, besonders ‚undertake‘ würde ich ersetzen.)

I’m a student in year/class 10

I’ve been learning English for more than five years now. I can speak it nearly fluently and I have nearly no problems to understand it, but sometimes I do some grammar mistakes. (Kommata entfernt)

So, das war’s dann auch!^^

Liebe Grüße,
Jasmin

First of all, I want to thank you, for giving me the chance to spend a year with you and therefore a year in the USA, which is one of my biggest dreams. Here in Germany, America is known as ‘The country of the boundless possibilities’. That makes me very curious, so I’m really looking forward to discovering (ich weiß klingt falsch ist aber definitiv grammatikalisch richtig) this country, the culture, the people and especially, the ‘American way of life’. I am even happier to have you as my host family for this time and to get to know (sonst discover doppelt) all of those things with you together.
Now, I’d like to tell you about my daily life: My name is Hannah Sinder and I’m 15 years old, but during my year abroad, I will be 16. As you can see in some of my pictures, I have long brown hair, blue/green eyes and I’m about 173 cm (68 inches) tall. I live with my family in ******, which is a small and very nice town in the Ruhr-area (near Cologne). My mum ****, my dad ***** and my older brother ***** (17) are very important for me because they always support me if I need help or have any worries. Of course we argue sometimes, but all in all we have a really good relationship. My grandparents are very important for me too, so I often visit them. There also belong a cat called Lilli and two rabbits called Hoppel and Bapsi, to my family. I really love them and so it would definitely not be a problem if you had pets.
My biggest hobby is horse riding. I share a horse with my best friend, so I spend much time with my horse and some other friends, who also ride at the riding stable. Even if I love horse riding I don’t think that I want to do it regularly during my year abroad because I’d better like to try typical American sports. I also have quite a lot of friends in my class, with whom I undertake things in my free time. Among other things, we like to watch movies or cook together, drive to a bigger city for shopping and go swimming in the summer. (nimm hier die formulierung die schon vorgeschlagen wurde) If I have time for myself, I read books, paint or listen to music. I’m also interested in photography and environmental protection. My family and I are members of an environmental organization called ‚Bund für Umwelt- und Naturschutz Deutschland (BUND)‘, where we campaign ourselves for the environment.
I’m a student in grade 10 and I visit the Theodor-Heuss-Gymnasium in Waltrop. My favourite subjects are English, History and Arts. I’ve been learning English for more than five years now. I can nearly speak it fluently and I almost have no problems to understand it, but sometimes I do some grammar mistakes. My second foreign language is French and I’ve been learning it for more than three years. After my high school year in the USA, I will go back to my school and graduate. I am planning to go to University afterwards, but I don’t know what to study, yet.
All in all I think that I am a happy, open-minded and responsible person. I mostly have high spirits and like to laugh with my friends. Even if I am a little bit more quite and do normally not like to take centre stage, I can represent my opinion very well and be quick at repartee. I always try to have a harmonious surrounding and therefore, to settle disputes quickly, what I’m mostly able to manage. Then I just feel better!
It is important to me that you know that I don’t want to be handled like a guest when I live with you for a year, but like a real family member after we got to know each other better. I will do my best to make this year nice for all of us and I hope that it will be a great experience for everyone.

so hab jetzt mal grob verbessert, so wie ich es schreiben würde. beziehungsweise geschrieben habe als cih halt weg bin…
ich hoffe es hat dir ein bisschen geholfen :slight_smile: