Brief an die Gastfamilie - Hilfe

Hallo ,
habe eben angefangen einen Brief an die Gastfamile zu schreiben , wäre euch dankbar wenn ihr ihn ein bisschen korrigieren könnte ( :confounded: ) und vielleicht habt ih ja noch Tips und ein paar Ideen … Wäre euch sehr dankbar :slight_smile:

Dear host family ,

First of all I want that you know , that I’am really grateful , that you’ll give me the chance to learn more about the culture of the USA . I’am very interested of traveling and seeing other countrys since was 10 years old .

My name is Anna *** and I was born in December 22th 1991 . I live in Heidelberg ( that’s in the south of Germany ) with my parents in a flat since I was one year old . We have a big garden and in the town there’s a big , old castle .
My father Jochen works in ***** , he is an ******* , my mother Silvia works in our quarter in the kindergarden . She is a governess.

From Monday to Friday I always get up at 6.15 am . The bus which takes me to school comes at 7 o’clock , but we haven’t cheese wagons like you , in our buses all people can go with . My school is in the Old Town , near the castle . Since September 2007 I attend the 10th grade of my Gymnasium , which calls Hölderlin . Normally the school starts at 7.50 am until 1.10 am , but one day the school starts at 9.54 am until 5.10 pm . My favorites subjects are English , German , Art and I like PE , too . When I come home at two o’clock I do my homework and learn for the tests .

At home I have a dog , his name is Harley . He is fifteen years old and a little bit crazy . I also have got a horse , her name is Chica . She is the horse of my neighbor , but my neighbor doesn’t ride her , so it’s like a own horse for me . I rode since I was five years old . First I rode in riding schools and when I was eleven years old , my riding instructor give me a little pony to train , his name was Max . He was underbred , but after two years he was very honest , do stunts and kids could ride him . Then I get Chica , because Max was to little . She was also underbred , but her charakter is so good . She is very important for me , after two years she is so honest and teach my mother to ride . By the way , she is a Lipizzaner , but she is black . I trust her , because she trust me , too .

When I’am not at the stable , I’am with my friends . They are very funny and we do lots of things . In the summer wie often go to the meadow which is beside the river ( Neckar ) . There you can play games , like volleyball or football . But you can also lie in the sun , when it’s hot and the sun shines .
Sometimes I do film nights with my best friends or eat ice-cream in the Old-Town .
On two days in the week I go dancing and it is very funny with my friends.

I think I’am a very kind , open-mind person . About mistakes which I do I can laugh and generally I laugh very much . I’am very interested in new cultures and about seeing the world .

I am very excited to meet you and I’am looking forward to stay 10 months in the USA .

Heey,
also ich hab deinen brief mal so durchgelsen und n bisschen verbessert, bzw dazu geschrieben was ich ändern würde;)

Dear host family ,

First of all I want that you know , that I’am really grateful , that you’ll give me the chance to learn more about the culture of the USA . → (würde ich vielleicht in nen eigenen absatz machen…) I’am very interested of traveling and seeing other countrys since was 10 years old .

My name is Anna *** and I was born in ( on?) December 22th (nd!!!) 1991 . I live in Heidelberg ( that’s in the south of Germany ) ( ohne diese klammern einfach: i live in heidelberg in the south of germany) with my parents in a flat since I was one year old . We have a big garden and in the town there’s a big , old castle . (euer garten und castle , was hat das miteinander zu tun?)
My father Jochen works in ***** , he is an ******* , my mother Silvia works in our quarter in the kindergarden . She is a governess.

From Monday to Friday I always get up at 6.15 am . The bus which takes me to school comes at 7 o’clock , but we haven’t cheese wagons like you , in our buses all people can go with( was willst du damit sagen??) . My school is in the Old (part of the town???) Town , near the castle . Since September 2007 I attend the 10th grade of my Gymnasium , which call ( is called??) s Hölderlin . Normally the school starts at 7.50 am until 1.10 am , but one day the school starts at 9.54 am until 5.10 pm . My favorites subjects are English , German , Art and I like PE , too . When I come home at two o’clock I do my homework and learn for the tests .

At home I have a dog , his name is Harley . He is fifteen years old and a little bit crazy . I also have got ( ich würd das „got“ weglassen, aber das ist meine persönliche meinung…) a horse , her name is Chica . She is the horse of my neighbor ,( widerspruch, dein pferd, aber es gehört deinen nachbarn?? sag doch einfach, dass du das Pferd von deinen nachbran reitest und es für dich wie ein eigenes pferd ist…) but my neighbor doesn’t ride her , so it’s like a own horse for me. I rode (ride, du tust es doch immer noch…) since I was five years old . First I rode in riding schools and when I was eleven years old , my riding instructor give (gave) me a little pony to train , his name was Max . He was underbred , but after two years he was very honest , do (doES^^ ) stunts and kids could ( can, oder wird er nicht mehr heritten???) ride him . Then I get (got vergangenheit;)) Chica , because Max was to little (small) . She was also underbred , but her charakter is so good . She is very important for me ( hier würd ich die reihenfolge ändern…ich würde einfach " she is very important for me" ans ende stellen…klingt besser;)) , after two years she is so honest and teach my mother to ride . By the way , she is a Lipizzaner , but she is black . I trust her , because she trust (trusts) me , too . (den letzten satz würd ich ganz weglassen…)

When I’am ( entweder_ "when I’m not oder when i am not;)) not at the stable , I’am ( das gleiche gilt hier;)) with my friends . They are very funny ( sie sind sehr komisch??? ich würd sagen, I have a lot of fun with them) and we do lots of things ( a lot of things together) . In the summer wie (we) often go to the meadow which is beside the river ( Neckar ) . There you can play games , like volleyball or football ( ich weiß ja jetzt nich, wo du hingehst, aber wenn du nach america oder canada oder so gehts glaub ich meinst du soccer;)). But you can also lie in the sun , when it’s hot and the sun shines . ( ich mein, is doch klar dass mal nur in der sonne liegen kann, wenn sie scheint oder?? lass es einfach weg;))
Sometimes I do (have) film nights with my best friends or eat ice-cream in the Old-(part of the )Town .
On two days in the week I go dancing and it is very funny( es ist sehr komisch mit deinen freunden?? it is a lot of fun with my friends- is ist sehr lustig mit meinen freunden) with my friends.

I think I’am a very kind , open-mind person . About mistakes which I do I can laugh and generally I laugh very much . I’am very interested in new cultures and about seeing the world .

I am very excited to meet you and I’am looking forward to stay 10 months in the USA .

→ generell find ich den brief ganz gut, aber was ich jetzt nich überall verbessert habe war das " I’am…das ist entweder I’m oder I am…aber nich gemixt;)
achja, und ich weiß nich ob der jetzt unbedingt fehlerfrei ist;)

lg

Hui , vielen Dank :slight_smile:
Ja meine Englischlererin bekommt ihn auch noch zu Gesicht … ich möcht ihn nur nicht voller Fehler abliefern :wink: