Again again... "Dear host family"

Ich habe gerade einen Entwurf für den Host Family Letter geschrieben und würde gerne mal ein paar Meinungen und Kritik hören. Ich denke, er ist sehr kurz… oder? Es darf auch gerne Korrektur gelesen werden :slight_smile: :smiley:

Dear host family,

first of all I want to thank you for reading my letter and hopefully giving me the opportunity to be a part of your life and your family.
To make the decision easier for you, I would like to give you an impression about who I am.

My name ist xxx xxx and I live in a little village, called xxx, in the south of Hamburg. I was born in 1993 in xxx, Lower Saxony, so I am 17 years old now.

Last November my parents decided to go different ways and they live apart now. I live with my father (named xxx, 54 years old), but we are still in the same village like my mum (named xxx, 53 years old) and my brother (named xxx, 21 years old).
My mum is a housewife, my father works in the wholesale trade and my brother is an automotive mechatronics engineer.
At the moment I’m visiting a technical college (commercial school) with the focal point trade.
I don’t know, in what buisiness I want to work at a later time, but I did a working experience at a confectionery in November and I had a lot of fun there. I like working with food.

In my freetime my preoccupation is meeting my friends. I have a very big circle of friends and acquaintances.
At weekend we go out every evening. We go dancing, celebrating and so on. Monday to Friday a do a lot for school.
Nevertheless my biggest hobbys are cooking and bakeing! I really love it and do it nearly every day.

About myself i would say that I’m a very communicative person. I love having people around me get to know new people. I also have no problem to adapt myself in new situations. I am capable of dealing with stressful moments and I have a strong personality. Moreover I think that I am flexible and self-confident.

The reason why I want to spend one year in the USA is, that I want to get to know a new culture, a new country and a new way of live.
In school I’ve always been very good at english and so I think it could be sensible to perfect my english skills.

In conclusion, I would like to thank you very much for taking your time to get to know me better.
I hope you got a little impression about me.

Yours sincerely
xxx xxx

was mir auffällt:

  • Ich glaube ich hätte die Namen deiner anderen Familienmitglieder nicht in Klammern geschrieben, dass kommt sehr anonym rüber. Vllt eher: My mum is called XXX. She is XXX years old and works as a(n) XXX.
    Dann hätte ich noch was über deine Lieblingsfächer, deine Schule, deine Berufswünsche geschrieben. Und ich weiß nicht, ob „party machen“ als hobby gut ankommt!
    LG Tina

Danke für die schnelle Antwort.
Ich werds nochmal überarbeiten. Ist auch erstmal nur ein grober Entwurf.

Liebe Grüße
Anni

Ich find den Brief eig. voll gut :grinning:
mir ist auch das mit dem party machen aufgefallen :stuck_out_tongue: & vllt. ist der motivations-absatz ein bisschen zu kurz !?
Ich denke, dass das ja eig. der wichtigste teil ist; vllt. könntest du noch mehr reinbringen, was du dir erhoffst, oder wie du darauf gekommen bist. Aber das ist ja nur ne Kleinigkeit :wink:

Liebe Grüße & viel glück noch :grinning: